When Pushing Yourself Leads to Falling

I didn't literally fall, but all's been quiet on the Blogspot front for awhile now. At the beginning of this month I started to experience quite a bit of pain upon impact of running in my knees and ankles. Where I was formerly running about four and a half miles, which admittedly was pushing it, one day I could barely make it around the 1/10th of a mile indoor track. I took that day to cycle, took about a week off and then did a mile-and-a-half jog, but was still experiencing pain. So, as I am wont to do, I justified to myself that injury and impending graduation meant I could just stop running for awhile.

I'm sure it was a good decision, but I feel endlessly guilty about it.Plus I miss the roommate running, but Danny is training for an event and I need to slow down. I've also been sluggish and moody from not running, and I think I've gained back a couple pounds, too. So today, when my first class let out over an hour early and my second class was canceled and the sun was shining, I thought, RUNNING. NOW. I bussed down to the good old South Bay Trail and jogged the whole length of it, Fairhaven to the edge of downtown, without stopping. My extremely casual fresh-off-a-two-week-break pace clocked me in at 22 minutes for the 2.3 mile trail, or about 9.5 minute miles.

...Of course since I have not up to this point timed any of my miles, that doesn't really mean anything to me, except that I'm fairly certain that in middle school when they used to make my lazy butt run the mile, it took me eleven to thirteen minutes. So it's nice to know that my tortoise pace now is faster than my best effort then. Even if I'm not one of those five foot tall speed demon girls who used to get six minute miles in middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL. Those were the same girls who did the V-sit by simply collapsing their spines and pelvises and reaching like twelve inches past their toes. "What manner of beast is this?"

Anyway, nothing hurts and I enjoyed some lovely chipotle guacamole as an after-run snack and now it's time for a shower. Love to The Offspring for musically fueling my run. If it is two weeks before I post again, I shall be as disappointed as you, dear readers.

If you're still out there.

Hello?

Eye of the Tiger, Man.

This song reminds me of grocery shopping in my old neighborhood in Seattle. It would always play in the QFC by my house, and it was so hilariously overexuberant for a simple grocery trip. I wanted some boxing gloves and fancy footwork, punching out the rows of Hamburger Helper and dancing around the tumbling displays of apples. But more importantly, I think it is the absolute best motivational song for working out.

It was my birthday on Saturday, and through the generosity and support of my family I was able to afford two very important components that contribute to my new goal (which I will get into in a minute)... new running shoes and an MP3 player. I have been complaining about my shoes since Day 1. You all know this. NO MORE! I got some sweet Saucony shoes that feel like clouds and help me push off with each new step. I'm breaking in both of these beauties today... although I have not yet downloaded Eye of the Tiger to aid me.

The aforementioned goal relates to how I'm graduating in less than two months and have no goals. "Pursue internships and jobs" is pretty much what I'm telling people. Which means, "I am scared shitless of the real world; these seem like good ideas." So since I don't want to face the job market and the student loan payments in my future I decided to settle on personal goals. You know, those friendly, unintimidating things that make you feel good about yourself. And it was about time I set a running goal, since I've been aimlessly wandering and not progressing. I have been running in my absence from this blog, but I haven't progressed. That is, until Tuesday.

My wonderful new roommate Danny is like my much more pleasant and infinitely more attractive Mickey, the gruff New York attitude trainer from the Rocky films. With his company and motivation we accomplished a nearly five mile run on Tuesday (about three times longer than I've been running lately and almost twice my longest run... how embarrassing). We stopped a third of the way through to check out Fairhaven Runners, where I got my shoes yesterday. (We also checked out the hot sales guy.) My legs and hips have been paying for that run ever since, especially because I was in my old shoes, but I was so amazed that I actually went that far. Danny is training for an 8 mile downhill run on Memorial Day weekend, so at least once a week we'll be running together. That way, if I wuss out running on my own, I'll have to make up for it when we work out together...

So, I'm back, aaand hopefully here I will remain, because of my goal: work my way up to a marathon. I don't have a goal date set for this, because I don't know anything realistically about pacing myself. But if I am capable of doing a five mile run now--which is only 1.2 miles away from a freaking 10K--I don't think this goal is impossible. I'm on my way.

Well. I'm Embarrassed.

Oh. Hi there. Didn't see you for TWO MONTHS. Ughhhh. I failed. The end of the quarter rolled around and I just... yeah. I went to the gym in November and maybe like.. once in December? And then I went to Indonesia and went on the treadmilll once for like 20 minutes. And now I'm back and school's starting up and I started to wonder why I feel so lazy... UGH. I really felt justified in letting it go at the end of the quarter, because I really was overwhelmed. But then over break I didn't keep up, and I could say I felt justified not exercising in Indonesia, except there was a treadmill and stationary bike and weights RIGHT IN THE HOUSE. So I just fail.

But I'm back. Really. The second day of school I went to the gym, then took a day to rest and be sore, then was still sore on Friday and went to the gym again, and now I'm still sore from both of those combined days. And I love it. I'm happy. Part of the motivation problem is that the Rec Center, where I'm sequestered until this terrible thing called winter lets up, is on the other side of campus from me. In the summer I could leave my house and begin a jog right outside my door. But as I had mentioned in previous posts, I don't have Under Armour or the money for it, and there's currently a couple inches of snow on the ground. I'm not a winter person. I also hate our indoor track (see also: I feel like a betta fish in a glass running around this tiny little thing) but I'm not sold on treadmills. I run differently on them, because, well, I'm trying not to fall off. I also get WILDLY dizzy upon dismounting. Sooo I've been doing things like the stair machines and the silly ellipticals, and the thing that I DO like about going to the Rec, the weights. I don't do weights if I'm just jogging around outside. So that gives me a chance to work out my arms and develop different muscles in my legs, which incidentlally became complete TWIGS while I was off not working out. Working to fix that now. At least I've got 6 months to get a "beach body" right?? Never mind that I'll need an interview body more than a beach body in six months... Wait, what's an interview body? Whatever.

SO ANYWAY. It's my great hope you'll hear more from me now. I'm also taking fewer classes, so I really have no excuse not to work out. It's built into my schedule three times a week at the moment. Hopefully I can figure out how best to run indoors, since more than just generally working out, my interest DOES lie in running. I've lost most of my progress and am easily winded and super discouraged about it. Maybe I'll jump on the Couch to 5K program? Who knows.

When the rain beats against my windowpane

It's fall. It's definitely fall. It's rainy and somewhat cold, though not quite the kind of cold where you can haul out your winter coat. It's still too cold to go out without any coat though, and just barely warm enough you can get away with a good sweatshirt. It's definitely cold in the mornings and at night, and that's when I tend to run.

We're all well aware that I don't have high-tech running gear. I have Skechers shoes from Marshall's and cotton shorts and useless sports bras. I don't have any fancy moisture-wicking temperature-regulating fuse-with-your-skin-and-make-you-aerodynamic running gear. And I hear that's what you need in the winter. Well, not need necessarily so much as strongly desire. Staying in shorts works for awhile because the body gets quite warm running. But somewhere around 45 or below that stops being an option. So then you break out the sweatshirt and sweatpants, and your body heats up like normal, and now your face is frozen and you're sweating through your clothes and the sweat is reaching the outside temperature and then pressing back up against your skin. So you're freezing and sticky and uncomfortable. Is that the sort of thing you roll out of bed in the morning looking forward to? Well I don't.

So I've decided to move my jogging indoors for the season. We have an indoor track at Western that is open during the general hours I tend to run, and its made of that nice cushy track material that's so much better for your joints than concrete. But the scenery sucks (a basketball court below; how marvelous...) and it's SO SHORT. It takes 10.5 laps on that thing to make a mile. The brain protests that sort of thing.

"Lucy," it says, "you've gone around this track four or five times. That's over a mile. You're tired. STOP!"

"No, brain," I say, "it's only been half a mile. Quit being such a wuss."

"Are you sure," my legs inquire, slowing down and growing heavy.

"It has.... to have been..... longerthanthat," sputter my lungs.

"Dammit." I'm suddenly exhausted. "You win."

So, there's that to contend with. But the other good thing about the gym is access to weight machines! I like being able to diversify what muscles I work. I love stairs and stair climbers. I went to the gym frequently in the spring and one of my goals then was to work up my arms and chest a bit and try to do a push-up.

That's been another goal of mine. A friend told me about the One Hundred Pushups challenge and I'm intrigued. I haven't decided whether to pursue that or not. If I do it, I want to really do it, holding myself accountable. One of the reasons I didn't do the Couch to 5K plan (aside from that I didn't hear of it until about a month into my running) is that I'm scared to apply myself to something that requires routine, when as a college student on any given day I might have to sacrifice a few things I'd planned to do in favor of homework, or sleep. I don't think I'm ready to take that on yet. Maybe in winter quarter, when I'll be taking fewer credits, I'll commit to something like that.

In summation (as though this was some big classroom speech) I haven't stopped running, but I've moved it indoors. It's a little easier to keep track of my distance progress that way, since I know exactly how long the track is, how many laps in a mile, etc. I think it'll work out well. I've made it this far.

The Jog of Shame

Ugh. In my last blog post it had been a week since I last jogged. This time it had only been six days (ONLY SIX DAYS? I'm still kicking myself) and I felt like I got worse. Maybe I didn't wait enough time again after eating. But yesterday I only jogged about .9 miles and I had to fight off strong waves of nausea when I finished. I was gasping for breath so hard on the last block that I wanted to stop. Now granted, it was a loop, and the first half was downhill, the second half uphill. But Mike and I have done this jog before with far fewer problems. I must've been tired, or had not eaten well. I don't know.

I was so upset when I got inside. It's official: college wants you to be unhealthy. I have been living the wake-up-go-to-class-do-homework-try-to-find-time-to-cook-go-to-bed routine for a couple weeks now. My dreams of jogging every other day are far from realized. I simply could not find the time until yesterday night around 9:30 PM to go out and jog for 10-15 minutes tops, and I almost threw up.

This quarter I'm taking 15 credits and working a part-time job. Next quarter I'll only be taking 11 credits with the same job, and in Spring only 10 with the job. So I'm in the roughest times of my senior year right now. My goal might suffer a little this quarter. But the thing about it is, this is a hobby for me. No, it's not the kind of hobby where I obsess over it and nothing else. It's also not the kind of hobby that I want to drop, leave behind, forget about. I'm frustrated that I can't find or make the time to do this as often as I'd like. But I will have more time in a couple of months. And I'm just going to have to live with that for now.

Even if I was jogging every other day, I don't think it's realistic to update constantly. I mentioned that in my last blog. I think 1-2 blogs a week is appropriate for what I'm blogging about.

I don't know when I'm going to get out jogging again. Next week is looking like a lighter week than I've had all quarter, so hopefully I can get some good time in then. Mike and I have been consuming produce at a much higher rate than before, which I feel good about, and it helps my peace of mind that if I can't exercise as much as I want, at least I can eat pretty well. RIDICULOUSLY well for a college student, at least, even on a pretty low budget. We're working on buying more in bulk, less packaged foods... other little cost-saving tips. I wish I could be a Coupon Queen who saves 80% every time she goes grocery shopping, buuuut I'm not.

I have no idea how to end this blog. Honestly, it's a Friday night and I'm exhausted. So: the end.

Oh right, I have a blog.

Oops. Hi there! I actually got up this morning earlier than I needed to. I don't think you understand the monumental status of such an event. THIS NEVER HAPPENS. And I had a good reason for it. I haven't jogged since last Friday.

Yes, I jogged a few times after my last blog post, but I figured that if I posted EVERY TIME I JOGGED you would get sick of me and I would run out of things to say. (Did you catch the pun there? Run out? I'm so clever.) Then Week 4 of school happened and I have been buried in mounds of deadlines since then, especially since my campus job recently started. I finally got a light homework evening last night, and naturally all I wanted to do was cook, bake and watch TV. All of those were very good ideas. (I made acorn squash stuffed with quinoa, hominy and bell pepper, topped with nutritional yeast--AMAZING--and then blondies--you know, brownies without chocolate?--with dried cranberries and flax seeds. My taste buds were writing me love letters.)

So this morning I don't have class until 11:30, but I woke up at 9:30 to go for a run. I can definitely tell that I haven't run in a week, which is why I insisted on going today. I felt like if I waited any longer I'd be back at square one. I only ran for about 15 minutes before I had to stop, but then after walking for 5 minutes or so I pushed it and jogged two blocks uphill before walking home. Morning air definitely has a terrible feeling in my lungs--oh yes, it's the cheese grater effect back for more. Blaaah. I tried to breathe in through my nose, as some had suggested, but I think that will work better when I get back to the condition I was in last week. This week I was so winded that nose breathing just was not delivering the oxygen fast enough.

Anyway, I still need to squeeze in a shower before class, but I just wanted to say hi and, you know, I haven't forgotten about you.