When Pushing Yourself Leads to Falling

I didn't literally fall, but all's been quiet on the Blogspot front for awhile now. At the beginning of this month I started to experience quite a bit of pain upon impact of running in my knees and ankles. Where I was formerly running about four and a half miles, which admittedly was pushing it, one day I could barely make it around the 1/10th of a mile indoor track. I took that day to cycle, took about a week off and then did a mile-and-a-half jog, but was still experiencing pain. So, as I am wont to do, I justified to myself that injury and impending graduation meant I could just stop running for awhile.

I'm sure it was a good decision, but I feel endlessly guilty about it.Plus I miss the roommate running, but Danny is training for an event and I need to slow down. I've also been sluggish and moody from not running, and I think I've gained back a couple pounds, too. So today, when my first class let out over an hour early and my second class was canceled and the sun was shining, I thought, RUNNING. NOW. I bussed down to the good old South Bay Trail and jogged the whole length of it, Fairhaven to the edge of downtown, without stopping. My extremely casual fresh-off-a-two-week-break pace clocked me in at 22 minutes for the 2.3 mile trail, or about 9.5 minute miles.

...Of course since I have not up to this point timed any of my miles, that doesn't really mean anything to me, except that I'm fairly certain that in middle school when they used to make my lazy butt run the mile, it took me eleven to thirteen minutes. So it's nice to know that my tortoise pace now is faster than my best effort then. Even if I'm not one of those five foot tall speed demon girls who used to get six minute miles in middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL. Those were the same girls who did the V-sit by simply collapsing their spines and pelvises and reaching like twelve inches past their toes. "What manner of beast is this?"

Anyway, nothing hurts and I enjoyed some lovely chipotle guacamole as an after-run snack and now it's time for a shower. Love to The Offspring for musically fueling my run. If it is two weeks before I post again, I shall be as disappointed as you, dear readers.

If you're still out there.

Hello?

Over the Parking Lot and Through the Woods, To Muscle Soreness We Go!

This past Saturday, Danny and I were on a time crunch. He got home around 4:00 and had to leave again at 5:00, but we needed to run! Tuesday and Saturday are the only days we can really get together to do that. So Danny suggested we head up to the arboretum but a short but intense trail workout with hills. I definitely have my days where running is unusually difficult, and this was one of those days. My legs were burning 100 yards into the first hill. Hills are bad, mmkay? And if I didn't have Danny's tiger spirit (yeah, he was actually dressed as a tiger, with face paint and a tail and all) I would have wussed out on myself. As it was I had to walk for a bit... but it was my first time out on any extended hills in months. I think with weekly training that will get much easier, and I will get much more buff, and the runners' legs will be mine. Oh yes, they will be mine.

I have heard and am inclined to believe that if you don't cross train you will never get ANYWHERE. Running at a consistent pace around a flat track for 6 months didn't really get me anywhere, as Mike and I gave up on the hills pretty early on, and then it was fall/winter/cold/gross/snowy/AUGH. I actually ran better when I started out than I had been prior to roommate running. Now I am going to focus on varying my runs, so that most Saturdays Danny and I will do hills, Tuesdays will be for the nearly 5 mile loop, and Thursdays I run on my own so I think I will do interval training (short sprints with walking in between).

The positive spin on the muscle-destroying hills of the arboretum was that the entire second half of the run (when we turned around and got to go downhill) was perfect. I was in that "casual run" mode where I was not at all out of breath. It was really comfortable, actually. And yesterday we went back to the nearly 5 mile loop and I held up okay. We also popped into Creativitea, where we're going to make roommate shot glasses together! Roommate running and roommate drinking go hand in hand, apparently. Along with roommate spandex. Shmexy.

Anyway, Bellingham Bay is an absolutely GORGEOUS view to run next to, and the chilling wind felt amazing when contrasted with the almost-too-hot sun. What's funny is that while I am an over-70-degrees-loving solar powered lightophile (there's gotta be a fancier Latin word for that...), running seems to be best at like 50-55 degrees, slightly overcast. I can go out in shorts and a tank top for a 5 mile run when it's 50 degrees, cloudy, even maybe a slight drizzle... but same weather not running requires my largest ugliest coat and a grim expression. (P.S. Lucy means "light"--Lucifer means "light bringer," haha--so that may explain the love of the sun!)

Speaking of weather, it's currently dumping in a typical Bellingham fashion, and I'm watching it unenthusiastically from the library window, hoping those thundershowers predicted for tomorrow don't come to fruition. DON'T FRUIT, PLEASE DON'T FRUIT!

Eye of the Tiger, Man.

This song reminds me of grocery shopping in my old neighborhood in Seattle. It would always play in the QFC by my house, and it was so hilariously overexuberant for a simple grocery trip. I wanted some boxing gloves and fancy footwork, punching out the rows of Hamburger Helper and dancing around the tumbling displays of apples. But more importantly, I think it is the absolute best motivational song for working out.

It was my birthday on Saturday, and through the generosity and support of my family I was able to afford two very important components that contribute to my new goal (which I will get into in a minute)... new running shoes and an MP3 player. I have been complaining about my shoes since Day 1. You all know this. NO MORE! I got some sweet Saucony shoes that feel like clouds and help me push off with each new step. I'm breaking in both of these beauties today... although I have not yet downloaded Eye of the Tiger to aid me.

The aforementioned goal relates to how I'm graduating in less than two months and have no goals. "Pursue internships and jobs" is pretty much what I'm telling people. Which means, "I am scared shitless of the real world; these seem like good ideas." So since I don't want to face the job market and the student loan payments in my future I decided to settle on personal goals. You know, those friendly, unintimidating things that make you feel good about yourself. And it was about time I set a running goal, since I've been aimlessly wandering and not progressing. I have been running in my absence from this blog, but I haven't progressed. That is, until Tuesday.

My wonderful new roommate Danny is like my much more pleasant and infinitely more attractive Mickey, the gruff New York attitude trainer from the Rocky films. With his company and motivation we accomplished a nearly five mile run on Tuesday (about three times longer than I've been running lately and almost twice my longest run... how embarrassing). We stopped a third of the way through to check out Fairhaven Runners, where I got my shoes yesterday. (We also checked out the hot sales guy.) My legs and hips have been paying for that run ever since, especially because I was in my old shoes, but I was so amazed that I actually went that far. Danny is training for an 8 mile downhill run on Memorial Day weekend, so at least once a week we'll be running together. That way, if I wuss out running on my own, I'll have to make up for it when we work out together...

So, I'm back, aaand hopefully here I will remain, because of my goal: work my way up to a marathon. I don't have a goal date set for this, because I don't know anything realistically about pacing myself. But if I am capable of doing a five mile run now--which is only 1.2 miles away from a freaking 10K--I don't think this goal is impossible. I'm on my way.

DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Cardio machines. I don't like to use them most of the time, because as I've mentioned the treadmill makes me dizzy, and many of the other ones you really set your own pace on (like ellipticals: I'm in charge of moving them, so no matter how much they up the resistance, I inevitably end up slacking and just going reaallly slow and not working out).

One thing I do like to use is the stair machine; either the old-school ones that look like a staircase or the ones with two levers for your feet and varying resistance. The old-school ones obviously just keep moving, so you can only slow down if you press the button to do so, just like a treadmill. The newer ones are such that the higher the intensity, the less resistance, so you will basically just end up standing on the ground and having to do more work to get back up if you don't keep moving. I love those!

But okay, aside from my love of stair machines, there is a problem with my using any cardio machine, and that is the calorie counter. It is hard when working out on these not to glance over and get some satisfaction out of seeing it negate the donuts or pizza or beer I might've had recently. But I find it to be soooo inaccurate! The ellipticals will often tell me that at the end of a 30-minute workout I have burned close to 300 calories, and a 20 minute workout on the stairs will say something like 100 or 120. Okay, that makes sense maybe, because the stair workout was shorter. But I sweat about twice as much on the stair machine. More sweat and breathing harder probably means I'm burning more calories, right? I don't sweat much as it is, so for these stair machines to get my hairline wet is impressive. And hence I just don't believe them, but I so want to.

The problem is what they take into account: they ask for age and weight. No height, no GENDER, nothing else. I could be a 6'0" male that weighed 125 pounds (eek) or a 5'6" female that weighed 125 pounds (which I am), and there is no way the two of us would burn the same number of calories in the same workout. So I call bullshit!

Well, enough about numbers and calories and liiiiieeeesss. I went to the gym today and did 30 minutes on an elliptical-like-thing, I actually have no idea what it was haha, then my usual round of weight machines for toning and then a mile of jogging! I took one lap of walking at the half-mile mark (a lap on our track is less than 1/10th of a mile) and I felt I could've kept going at the end of the mile. That's good stuff for me. Stress is fantastic fuel for working out and I really could've stayed at the gym longer, though I might've regretted it in the morning.

I was so looking forward to my workout that I forgot to mail an important package before the post office closed, but frankly I'm quite okay with that.

I also got to break in the new spandex shorts I bought to wear under my Soffes. So now I have no fear of revealing my underwear to the dozens of basketball players below the track, or anyone when I'm stretching, or doing those ridiculously suggestive hip machines. You know what I'm talking about. They're like stripper training, for god's sake, and if you don't have tight shorts on under your loose shorts, you might as well be a stripper right there in the gym. I can feel good about buying myself running-related things. It doesn't feel like splurging. It feels purposeful. I feel pretty purposeful about this running thing.

I'm working on these scrawny legs. They will be something. They will be magnificent! Mwahaha!

"You can't outrun your way of thinking."

Well, I was listening to Fugazi's 13 Songs album while running today. The song "And the Same" has a line that goes "This is a bullet you can't outrun.../Your way of thinking..." Or that's how the lyrics seem to be written. But I always do this thing in my head with lyrics where I try to match up which clauses are really supposed to go together. Because you know how sometimes in a song, two lines will run together, and you just wonder which ones are supposed to go together and which ones are separate? Anyway, the intention seems to be "this is a bullet you can't outrun," but then what is "your way of thinking" just doing out there by itself? So I like to think it means both "This is a bullet you can't outrun" and "You can't outrun your way of thinking."

...Wow are you still here? I don't think I would have put up with nonsense writing like that myself. MY POINT is just that I like hearing lines about running while I'm running. Actually Fugazi has a song called "Long Distance Runner" too... haha!

Okay seriously though. I was just in the right kind of mood today I guess, because when I turned on 13 Songs I just started running and I tuned out of it listening to the music. I don't know how many laps I did. I think I came close to a mile without getting exhausted. I knowwww I was doing so much better before. Running indoors just seems more taxing. But hey, running is running. And progress will come. There's so much going on with work and school and friends that working out is becoming something I do just to stay active, and is getting less goal oriented. If I felt capable of taking on and sticking to a challenge, I probably would.

I feel sort of like this is a big blog about how I set goals and then revise them to fit my comfort level so that they're not too inconvenient. But hey, life is life. I'm still at it, at least. I know for sure that my improved circulation from running is keeping me MUCH warmer in the winter, even later that day or the next day. I used to always be cold. So see, there IS some improvement! I'm not dropping out.

When the rain beats against my windowpane

It's fall. It's definitely fall. It's rainy and somewhat cold, though not quite the kind of cold where you can haul out your winter coat. It's still too cold to go out without any coat though, and just barely warm enough you can get away with a good sweatshirt. It's definitely cold in the mornings and at night, and that's when I tend to run.

We're all well aware that I don't have high-tech running gear. I have Skechers shoes from Marshall's and cotton shorts and useless sports bras. I don't have any fancy moisture-wicking temperature-regulating fuse-with-your-skin-and-make-you-aerodynamic running gear. And I hear that's what you need in the winter. Well, not need necessarily so much as strongly desire. Staying in shorts works for awhile because the body gets quite warm running. But somewhere around 45 or below that stops being an option. So then you break out the sweatshirt and sweatpants, and your body heats up like normal, and now your face is frozen and you're sweating through your clothes and the sweat is reaching the outside temperature and then pressing back up against your skin. So you're freezing and sticky and uncomfortable. Is that the sort of thing you roll out of bed in the morning looking forward to? Well I don't.

So I've decided to move my jogging indoors for the season. We have an indoor track at Western that is open during the general hours I tend to run, and its made of that nice cushy track material that's so much better for your joints than concrete. But the scenery sucks (a basketball court below; how marvelous...) and it's SO SHORT. It takes 10.5 laps on that thing to make a mile. The brain protests that sort of thing.

"Lucy," it says, "you've gone around this track four or five times. That's over a mile. You're tired. STOP!"

"No, brain," I say, "it's only been half a mile. Quit being such a wuss."

"Are you sure," my legs inquire, slowing down and growing heavy.

"It has.... to have been..... longerthanthat," sputter my lungs.

"Dammit." I'm suddenly exhausted. "You win."

So, there's that to contend with. But the other good thing about the gym is access to weight machines! I like being able to diversify what muscles I work. I love stairs and stair climbers. I went to the gym frequently in the spring and one of my goals then was to work up my arms and chest a bit and try to do a push-up.

That's been another goal of mine. A friend told me about the One Hundred Pushups challenge and I'm intrigued. I haven't decided whether to pursue that or not. If I do it, I want to really do it, holding myself accountable. One of the reasons I didn't do the Couch to 5K plan (aside from that I didn't hear of it until about a month into my running) is that I'm scared to apply myself to something that requires routine, when as a college student on any given day I might have to sacrifice a few things I'd planned to do in favor of homework, or sleep. I don't think I'm ready to take that on yet. Maybe in winter quarter, when I'll be taking fewer credits, I'll commit to something like that.

In summation (as though this was some big classroom speech) I haven't stopped running, but I've moved it indoors. It's a little easier to keep track of my distance progress that way, since I know exactly how long the track is, how many laps in a mile, etc. I think it'll work out well. I've made it this far.

The Jog of Shame

Ugh. In my last blog post it had been a week since I last jogged. This time it had only been six days (ONLY SIX DAYS? I'm still kicking myself) and I felt like I got worse. Maybe I didn't wait enough time again after eating. But yesterday I only jogged about .9 miles and I had to fight off strong waves of nausea when I finished. I was gasping for breath so hard on the last block that I wanted to stop. Now granted, it was a loop, and the first half was downhill, the second half uphill. But Mike and I have done this jog before with far fewer problems. I must've been tired, or had not eaten well. I don't know.

I was so upset when I got inside. It's official: college wants you to be unhealthy. I have been living the wake-up-go-to-class-do-homework-try-to-find-time-to-cook-go-to-bed routine for a couple weeks now. My dreams of jogging every other day are far from realized. I simply could not find the time until yesterday night around 9:30 PM to go out and jog for 10-15 minutes tops, and I almost threw up.

This quarter I'm taking 15 credits and working a part-time job. Next quarter I'll only be taking 11 credits with the same job, and in Spring only 10 with the job. So I'm in the roughest times of my senior year right now. My goal might suffer a little this quarter. But the thing about it is, this is a hobby for me. No, it's not the kind of hobby where I obsess over it and nothing else. It's also not the kind of hobby that I want to drop, leave behind, forget about. I'm frustrated that I can't find or make the time to do this as often as I'd like. But I will have more time in a couple of months. And I'm just going to have to live with that for now.

Even if I was jogging every other day, I don't think it's realistic to update constantly. I mentioned that in my last blog. I think 1-2 blogs a week is appropriate for what I'm blogging about.

I don't know when I'm going to get out jogging again. Next week is looking like a lighter week than I've had all quarter, so hopefully I can get some good time in then. Mike and I have been consuming produce at a much higher rate than before, which I feel good about, and it helps my peace of mind that if I can't exercise as much as I want, at least I can eat pretty well. RIDICULOUSLY well for a college student, at least, even on a pretty low budget. We're working on buying more in bulk, less packaged foods... other little cost-saving tips. I wish I could be a Coupon Queen who saves 80% every time she goes grocery shopping, buuuut I'm not.

I have no idea how to end this blog. Honestly, it's a Friday night and I'm exhausted. So: the end.

Uphill Battle

So, I want to run. I have always hated running, and loved the idea of running. I watched enviously as runners deftly sped past me on trails, sidewalks, campuses... They never seemed to be experiencing any stress, shortness of breath, muscle fatigue, or anything. How long have these people been running? Did they just run right out of the womb?

In gym class I watched the tiny preppy girls lap me. They would complete the dreaded mile run in 6 minutes or less. I lagged behind, wheezing, clocking in at 11, 12, 13 minutes. My muscles ached, and I felt some sadistic chef had drug a cheese grater down my esophagus and through my lungs. I hated those girls and their bouncy ponytails.

I think it's important to add here, though no offense is meant, that I am not, nor have I ever been, overweight. People don't realize that overweight and out of shape do not always go hand in hand. Just as there are "overweight" people who eat healthily and exercise, there are also "normal weight" or "underweight" people who just generally suck at all things physically strenuous.

I'm raising my hand. I'm one of them. I'm very nearly 5'6" and at my heaviest was probably 136 pounds. I am now about 127. I'm not trying to lose weight by running. I'm just trying not to lose my breath running for the bus. I want to be a runner.

I want to speed past bewildered citizens on the trails of Bellingham! I want to have the coveted runner's legs. I want them. I have skinny calves. I have friends who complain they can't wear those hot knee-high fall boots because their calves are too big. Well, they don't fit me either. They make me look like Spinelli from Recess.

I would really like to see her with her shoes off. What are those, size 15 mens?

So my fiance and I have started the journey small. Three times now we have run about 2 blocks uphill. It takes us ten minutes round-trip and we get the cheese grater-on-lungs effect hardcore. My leg muscles feel like they're going to burst through my skin, Alien-style. I feel like the weakest person, huffing and puffing, skin still warm from having just left the house. But it must be working, because today we ran flat on a trail for about 1.5 miles. And I wasn't winded. Such a feat has NEVER happened to me. Ever. I have the endurance of American Apparel underwear. (Which is to say, none. I bought a pair once and the elastic came out of the stitching on the first wash. Just stay away.)

I give you my humble introduction into my silly little venture. I want to be a runner, just to see if I can. So here's my dorky unflattering "before" pictures. I should have some of my legs probably, too. But this post is long enough already.

Oh yeah. No sucking in the gut here. Sexy.

I'm a sadface because I'm still a wuss.